Sex is a fantasy energy, like water, comes from the 2 original fantasy dualities, stone VS water. Water is opposite of fire and so sex is a false expression of me as a living beeng. Sex is based in fear and is actually a defence energy whereas stone is attack, poison. Whatever I do in sex I am opposite of its acts. Sex comes from sleep originally and is not chosen.. For me sex is scary as before sex one is concentrated in darkness and light - water of the Moon and light of concentration - and Im afraid that it will be one of the most difficult things to overcome as I have an enormous fear about this subject matter. Sexual performance anxiety that is. My first sexual contact was the Alien, millions of years ago, during the beginning of this universe. Degradations by speech are worse than sex itself, though I know this only in knowledge. Then the Alien during those ancient ages lawed the Moon, to rape me as a sheep.
Then it became a reaction from me during the strong toxic powers and by a hidden spiritual law I degraded the scandinavian chicken for then the ghostly lawed chicken as well the white lawed ghostly scandinavian & russian horse, raped him as a sheep, lawed by cucumber strawberries and cherries, natures penis, that transformed me in the black mountains filled with poison ages, where such food sex is more strong than sex between 2 beeng as is of false prestige, for then to be reacted back the degradations from middle asians and then raped by Hitler, who was lawed as a mushroom and the black horse Shivaya wa raped by me by that spiritual circle around the globe. I have been raped in earlier lifeforms in this human age animal ghostly mix, by squirlhumans, as sheep by americans, bullied by before as said the first sexual contact with an original alien, whereas bullying is more sexually empowered than sex itself.
I have reacted back all this impurity to the world as to defend is unchosen and in coincidence, especially in the ages before with more toxic power, meaning sleeping ages where though the sublte mind carries emotions and thoughts from the past in form of reincarnation. Sex for me is in ignorant states, though cant be known, as is in a dreaming changing by knowing energy. When bullied as impure for millions of years ago by the demonized Alien and bird and shadow Alien during the first contact, to remain pure is very difficult as the belief of another beeng impure makes as well when tryingt to purify it becomes more impure.
But I do believe that my sexual fear is stopping me from a normal sexual life, so why does not the mental institutions accept their belief on how social anxiety can be cured, that is facing the fears (When talking about psychological treatment for social anxiety, the most efficient treatment is behavioral-cognitive therapy. This method consists on training a person to detect the thoughts which do not contribute to his quality of life. The behavioral side consists on exposing him In a controlled way to the situations that cause anxiety. Gradually, the anxiety caused by these situations, will decrease to a level that the person can control. - http://www.selfgrowth.com ) and by that overcoming them, and see the sameness of social anxiety with sexual performance anxiety and heal such patients that have that type of mental illnesses ( sexual performance that is) with sexual healing intercourse provided by the female women in free places of nurses working in such institutions? Maybe that is how we can heal sexual performance anxiety..
Well, in the mean time I try to heal myself and use the time I spend inside mental hospitals to, well, relax.. To put it better, heal myself. I believe that sex itself is insanity. To enter means to be a ghost. Btw: Did you know that strawberries, carrots and cherries increase sexual life for men whilest raspberries increase sexual desire for women? Doing it in a surrendering way instead of "i will take this to increase sexual life" works better, as well as, if opposite of such surrendering condition, taking it to punish the fruits, and thereby eat them, for making you lack such energy, instead of to plan your way to increase sexual life, will as well increase sexual energy much more..